Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Letting go or holding on

A missionary that our church supports passed away yesterday after a very short illness. I didn't really know him, he and his wife obviously spent most of their time on the mission field. Despite that, I am struggling a bit with sadness at his passing. I think I know why. I can't imagine being as strong as his wife has been as she faced the possibility of his passing.

She kept their supporting churches up to date on his condition through e-mails, which our Pastor forwarded on to the rest of us. In each e-mail, she spoke of her willingness to "let him go to Jesus", or that she held him up to God in her open hand, or that she knew she would be reunited with him in Heaven.

I know that my husband is headed for Heaven when he dies, as I am too. BUT, I don't know if I could be as brave as her. I am sure in her dark moments alone, she fought the desire to keep holding on. But isn't it amazing that God ultimately gave her a peace, which allowed her to be an amazing testimony to me! The first picture I have in my mind when facing such a moment is with my arms wrapped tightly around the waist of my husband and my legs woven around his legs, forcing him to drag me along as he passed from this life into Glory. Perhaps instead, I can recall the testimony of Louise Barnard and recognize that the Lord gives us the strength and ability to face the dark moment of saying goodbye to the love of our life.

Obviously, I pray that such a moment is years and years away. Hopefully, in my VERY old age, I can recall the lesson learned from Mrs. Barnard.

2 comments:

Tracie Boellner said...

Lori, I was affected EXACTLY the same way. I have been amazed by her testimony. It actually makes me feel so small, even though I know we're not to compare ourselves. I have been profoundly affected.

Unknown said...

She has an amazing testimony doesn't she!